#he was always meant to be selfless *sobs*

[anne-bsd-bibliophile]

In the last lifetime, love had made him possessive, so he'd become selfish. In this one, love made him accepting, and thus he became selfless.

- Ròu Bāo Bù Chī Ròu, The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Vol. 5

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hiiiii, I have a request for the newly arrived Indigo Disk-

A really happy ending for Kiki where after the whole DLC, he then starts to make amends with the BB Elite 4, his sister and protag which eventually gains him Ogerpon's recognition, prompting her to wanna go with him as an extra treat after all his angst (quq)

Yessss we gotta give him the happy end he deserves <3

.........

Setting up a small picnic within the Terarium, you brought your current Pokémon team out to play, deciding to take in the beautiful coastal biome and its warmth.

Even though you knew it was all artificial, it didn't make much of a difference to your companions. They happily frolicked in the sand and grass, although some opted to take a nap under the sun after a hard day of battling.

Meanwhile, you were fixing up a sandwich for everyone to share, deciding to add a little bit of spice to it (at Crispin's suggestion, of course). You didn't want it to be too flaming-hot for your Pokémon--or at least none that were fire types who could handle the heat.

However one in particular just seemed to be hungry for anything, as upon hearing a crystalline trill, you looked down to see Terapagos at your feet. It was gently pawing on your leg, eyes sparkling as it wondered what you were cooking up.

"Hey, little guy." You cooed, reaching down to pat its head before you scooped it up, allowing it to climb into your lap. "Smells tasty, huh? I bet you're super hungry after sleeping all those years."

It only responded with another happy trill, and you just sighed.

Who would've known this would be the legendary "Hidden Treasure" of Area Zero Heath and [Turo/Sada] sought after, the creator of the Terastal Phenomenon...

And the Pokémon that put up one hell of a fight against you, Carmine, and Kieran?

Speaking of whom...

It's been roughly a month since those events down in the Underdepths, and for the most part things have been looking up for both you and him. You were just happy to see that spark return to his eyes...

The spark he had once lost...mainly because of you.

Part of you would always remain guilty over unknowingly setting him down such a dark path--obsessing over defeating you in battle to the point where he didn't care who got hurt in the process.

He didn't wanna be that weak little kid you kept beating back in Kitakami anymore, always bragging about how much he's changed and demanding you to never hold back.

But after being humbled in front of the entire school, he was willing to do anything to have at least one victory against you.

Even if it meant utilizing a dangerous legendary Pokémon he had little understanding of....

He tried to control it, and as punishment it attacked him directly.

Arceus only knows what could've happened if your 'raidon didn't absorb the blast in time, and that selfless act made him feel all the more guilty for the way he acted towards you.

He idolized you, hated you, and yet.....you saved his life when you could have just saved yourself, his sister, and Briar instead.

He cried like a baby the whole way home, overwhelmed by everything that's happened from last year up to now, yet you comforted him and didn't tease him once.

After returning to Unova, he made a promise to fix things between you and everyone else he hurt, finally letting go of his envy and deciding to start fresh with you. His request to be your friend again had you laughing, much to his confusion..and a little worried you were making fun of him.

Then he almost sobbed after you explained that you've never considered him an enemy at all.

Despite everything, you never stopped seeing him as a friend.

Sometime later you went home to Paldea, although not without exchanging rotomphone information with him so you could have more chats.

Yep. Kieran finally got his own phone, but being from the countryside made him only somewhat familiar with the basics. You and Carmine helped him with that, of course. He loved the camera function and would often send you photos of his Hydrapple doing something cute.

They're mostly blurry, but he's getting the hang of it.

You eventually went back to the BB Academy to further your studies of the biomes, and winded up taking a small picnic break within the Terarium. No rules said you couldn't, and Drayton did insist that you didn't overwork yourself...

Which is funny coming from the guy who had to repeat classes, although you took his advice.

"Roto-to-to-to~"

Your eyes lit up as you received an incoming call from Kieran, and you greeted him with a smile, waving. "Kiki! How's it going?"

"Hey, [y/n]." He smiled back, and then he blinked upon realizing how familiar the background behind you was. "Wait..you're back in Unova? In the Terarium?"

"Uh..yeah! I was gonna surprise you, but I guess it's too late for that now." You awkwardly chuckled. "How are things going with the League?"

"Better than..I thought, actually." He sat back in his chair, tying his hair up. "Drayton and I are finally on speaking terms again."

"Oh that's great!"

"Mhm. We both felt kinda bad about how we treated each other with the whole "ex-champion" thing...said some stuff we didn't mean. Last week we were avoiding each other, and now we're having casual Pokémon battles to ease the tension between us."

"I'm glad to hear that." You nodded, taking a bite out of your sandwich.

"I..really do owe you one for bringing the club back together. I've been so bitter and didn't realize how much it was hurting Lacey and the others...not to mention how many people I wrongfully kicked out. I promise I'm gonna get all of them back into the club. I swear."

"I fully believe you. Just don't run yourself dry trying to patch up everything with everyone, okay?"

Kieran nodded in understanding, although he suddenly went quiet. You wondered why until you realized he could see Terapagos, who was currently climbing onto the table trying to get some lettuce.

"Heyyyy that's not for you, you little scamp." Teasingly, you scooped it up again, keeping a gentle grip on its belly and shell before you looked back at your friend, bashful. "Don't mind Terapagos. It's always hungry."

"I see." He chuckled. "You've been taking care of it well?"

"Yep, but have you been taking care of yourself, too?"

"...yeah." He muttered. "Carmine's been getting on my case about properly eating and sleeping again. Don't tell her this, but I appreciate it more than she realizes. And..I'll admit I was turning into a jerk like she used to be, and that's not something I want..."

"Well sounds like you're doing much better now..don't beat yourself up over it." You reassured him.

His shoulders relaxed. "I'm..trying not to....so [y/n], do you think we could meet up in person? Like at your dorm? I...feel like we haven't talked face-to-face in a while."

"Sure! I got nothing planned later so....see you in a few hours?"

"Sounds good." He smiled. "See ya."

The call ended as your rotomphone dropped back onto the table. You picked it up and stared at the case, feeling giddy about seeing him again after so long.

And to think when you first arrived here..you felt nothing but tension whenever he was in the same room as you, feeling the negative vibes rolling off of him like an aura of Bitter Malice.

You were glad those days were gone and he was your friend again.

"Pon?"

"Huh? Ogerpon..? You were here the whole time??" Surprised, you glanced over to see the grass legendary sitting on the ground beside you, being sure to stay clear of the camera view. She lowered her mask and looked at you with a knowing smile.

Considering the way Kieran freaked out when you brought her into the championship battle (not to mention him doing everything in his power to knock her out)...you would've thought she'd never wanna see or hear from him again--especially since her "betrayal" was still a fresh wound.

Yet apparently she was listening to your entire conversation with him, and had this understanding look to her starry eyes.

"Pon, ponnn?"

"Huh?" You blinked. "You wanna..see him, too? Are you sure?"

She hopped to her feet, nodding eagerly before pointing in the direction of the academy.

"Okay. Maybe..it'll be a good thing." A smile appeared on your face, although in the back of your mind you hoped that seeing her again won't scare Kieran too much.

...........

"Okay, so the Golurk congregate here....and they're usually guarding the Goletts.."

Back in your dorm room, you were just jotting down notes about recent Pokémon outbreak sightings. Ogerpon was sitting on your countertop, swinging her legs while munching on a bowl of her favorite berries you've found for her throughout Kitakami.

Right as she finished the last one, there was a knock at the door, and you both immediately knew who it was. She was a little nervous, but you reassured her that things will be okay before you went to answer it.

Sure enough Kieran was on the other side. He's never been to your dorm until now, and as he walked in was surprised and intrigued by all the stuff you had hung up on the wall.

"Excuse the mess." You chuckled, closing the door.

"Don't worry, my dorm's worse." He shyly smiled back at you, although his expression faltered as his gaze went to a certain legendary..

He immediately tensed up, not out of anger.....but like he was expecting her to use Ivy Cudgel at any given moment. "What's the Ogre doing here--wait, no..that sounded rude. I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's fine. There's actually something we've been meaning to talk to you about."

"..oh?" Turning back to you, he tilted his head.

"So Ogerpon overheard our little chat earlier, and she wanted to see you."

"She did?"

"Yeah," you nodded, feeling your heart start to race with anticipation. "And..um...maybe it's easier if she explains."

Kieran was confused as you gestured to Ogerpon, but his eyes went wide when she approached him. With no mask on, she wore a confident expression as she handed him...

A pokeball?

No..

It was the pokeball you caught her in.

"What is this? Some new trick you taught her?" Looking to you for an explanation, all he could see was your smile. "Why isn't she...afraid of me?"

"Because she knew you were trying to make amends with everybody." You patted her head, beaming. "I think she finally recognizes you as a strong Pokémon trainer, and...she wants to be yours."

".....huh?"

"She wants to be yours." You repeated, watching as he tried to process this information. And his jaw damn near dropped to the floor, but he closed his mouth and shook his head.

"Y-You're joking, right?"

"Nope. We both decided that she's ready for a new partner. Someone who's believed in her side of the story since-"

"No, no, no..I..I-I can't do that.." He shook his head frantically, backing away from Ogerpon. "I'm sorry. But she's yours, [y/n]. She chose to go with you. You passed her test and...I didn't. I was being stupid and selfish and-"

"I think I was being more selfish."

Looking up at you, he blinked a few times.

"Listen, I know everyone likes to say such great things about me...but I'm not some perfect angel." You frowned slightly. "I lied to you, I stole the Pokémon you've idolized for years...and I hurt someone who considered me a friend. You called me out on that and you had every right to."

"........"

"If anybody here needs to apologize..it's me." Bowing your head, you sighed softly. "So I'm truly sorry for the way I treated you, Kieran. I'm sorry for never considering your feelings before. I wasn't a good friend, and I wanna be a better one. So I'm gonna make this right...both of us will."

You looked back up at him, seeing the shock written all over his face. Then you glanced at Ogerpon, taking the pokeball and instructing her to get her masks off the wall. She nodded and did just that.

"You deserve to know what her power is like. The masks, the TMs I taught her...you can have them all. No trades. No strings attached..except for us staying friends, of course."

Finally, Kieran found his ability to speak again, but he was already getting choked up. "[Y/n], the apology is...th-that's more than enough for me." His eyes watered. "I forgive you. There's no way I can take her from-"

"You're not taking her away. I'm giving her to you, silly." You chuckled.

"....I..I still don't know if I can accept that. I'm not worthy of her even looking my way anymore. I was disrespectful to her wishes, I stole her mask..a-and you're saying...she forgives me?"

"I think she's gonna let bygones be bygones. Isn't that right, 'pon?"

"Ponio! Pon!" With her masks together, Ogerpon gazed at you, nodding confidently. You could only smile back as you patted her head again, seeing that she was ready for a new adventure.

You've trained her well, helping her grow stronger than ever before as you've mastered her abilities with all four masks.

But now it's time that someone else had the chance to bond with her...

Someone like Kieran.

After sending her into the pokeball for the last time, you gazed at the purple-haired boy. His whole body refused to move, so you approached him and took his gloved hand, placing the device snuggly into his palm.

For the longest time, he stared at it, and then he looked back at you. "A-Are you sure I can't just...keep her for a day and then give her back?" He began to sniffle, face growing bright red. "Because if...wh-what if she doesn't-?"

"I want you to have her permanently." Knowing what was coming, you brought him into a tight hug, feeling him wrap his arms around you and rest his head on your shoulder. "Don't worry. She's gonna love you, Kiki." You rubbed his back. "She trusts you now. She's all yours."

All he could do was nod, your shirt getting soaked by his tears as he hiccupped, thanking you over and over again. He wasn't bawling loudly like before, but he still had a tough time keeping himself together; so you led him to your bed where he was more comfortable.

You're 99% certain this poor guy's never received a hug in his life, given how he refused to let you go. So you allowed him to hold onto you for as long as he needed or wanted.

At last you got out all of the things you've been meaning to say to him...and even Ogerpon got to apologize in her own special way by wanting to be his partner Pokémon.

You thought this would have been too much for Kieran to handle, but you could see he's grown a lot and that he was ready to accept this huge responsibility.

Terapagos will remain with you, and Ogerpon will be his forever.

After everything that's happened, it's what he deserves.

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

141 + Konig and Alejandro.

Requesting how they would react to reader having a near death experience and are afraid of losing them. Fluff at the end. Please and thank you ☺️

Of course, thanks for the request! Hope this is what you were looking for!

141 + König & Alejandro Reacting To Reader Nearly Dying

Warnings: blood, mentions of death, mentions of injury, heavy angst- ends in fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon Ghost Riley-

It happened so quickly that Simon barely had time to register it.

The enemy had the gun pointed at him, and Simon was prepared to take it. He knew there was no escape from it. But then, you. You and your selfless heart just had to step in.

At the last second, you were nothing but a blur in his field of vision as you jumped in front of him, taking the bullet that was meant for him.

He watched as you dropped to the floor, and his entire world stopped in that moment. In his blind rage, he took down the man who shot you without a second thought, before regaining his senses.

"I need a med evac, NOW! Y/N's been shot." Simon cried out in a panic, rushing to your side. "Hey, hey, keep your eyes open, okay? Don't you dare fuckin' close them."

"I love you, Si." You said, gripping his arm with as much strength as your weakening form could muster. "I'm sorry."

"Don't talk like that, I won't have it. Keep your eyes open, kid." He gave your cheek a light slap as he pressed his hand on the wound on your abdomen. "Don't leave me, please."

You felt yourself slipping away, Simon's pleas being the last thing you heard before darkness consumed you.

~

Your eyes blinked open as a blinding white light blurred your vision. It took you a moment to realize your surroundings, as you looked over to the person whose hand was tucked firmly in yours. "Simon?"

"Sweetheart?" Simon voice was timid, and you knew him well enough to know that he had been crying. "You're awake."

"Hey." You croaked as you tried to sit up.

"No, no, don't move. I'll get you some water." He reached over to the bedside table and helped you gulp some of the ice water. He watched as you shakily set the glass down next to you, his eyes softening as he saw how much you struggled with such a simple gesture.

"You could have died Y/N, what were you thinking?" Simon asked, not taking his eyes off you. "That bullet was meant for me."

"And I couldn't sit by and watch you die, Simon. My body reacted before my brain did. It was just instinct. And I'd do it again if it meant you being alive." Your tone took Simon off guard, his protective walls shattering at your words.

"I can't live without you. I thought you were gone." His voice was barely audible, and you could hear the deep sadness in it.

"I'm here, Simon. I'm not going anywhere." You pulled him closer to you, forcing him to lay his head on his chest.

"Marry me."

"What?" You asked, not sure if you heard him correctly.

"Marry me." Simon repeated, his eyes still staring deeply into yours. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"But you said that-"

"I don't care what I said before. Nearly losing you made me realize that I want to spend every waking second with you for the rest of my life. So please, marry me. We can go to the courthouse tomorrow and make it official."

You let out a small sob as you absorbed his words. "Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you."

Simon smashed his lips to yours, holding you impossibly close as he deepened the kiss. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too, always."

John Price-

"When we are done with this God forsaken mission, I'm taking you to a nice dinner, got that?" John asked, a hint of a smile lining his lips.

"I certainly won't say no to that. I could use a night out with you." You gave your husband a warm smile before turning the corner in the building the two of you were clearing. "Last room, we should be done in just a minute."

John turned his gaze back to you, and his blood ran cold as he saw your foot land on trip wire. "Y/N, WAIT!"

But it was too late. You triggered the bomb set by the trip wire, and you and Pricem were sent flying as the explosion rang out through the building.

It took a moment for John to regain his senses, the impact of the explosion knocking the wind out of him.

John's ears were ringing as he looked for you amongst the debris. "Babe? Where are you!?"

He wiped some of the dust from his eyes and found you lying on the floor across the room, pieces of wood covering the lower half of your body.

He slid over to you, throwing the debris off of you in a panic. "Hey, hey, hey. You better be okay. I can't do this without you, I can't."

His heart was practically beating out of his chest as his eyes raked up and down your figure. You were covered in blood and bruises, and your heartbeat was faint.

He put his arm underneath your limp body and lifted you, holding you close to him chest. "I'm not going to let you die."

~

Sounds of distant talking, and machines beeping drew you from your deep slumber. Your eyes blinked open, as a cough racked through your chest.

"Babe!" John cried out, cutting his conversation with Laswell short. "You're okay."

He hurried over to you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as you blinked away the sleep from your eyes. "What happened?"

"We can talk about that later. How are you feeling?" John asked, kneeling next to the bed, grasping your hand firmly in his.

"Like hell, but I'll be okay." You gave him a reassuring smile as you squeezed his hand. Your brows furrowed slightly as you took in his bruised face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better now that you're awake. Gave me quite a scare, sweetheart." He said as he pressed a kiss to your hand.

"Well, I should work on getting better quickly. If I remember correctly, you owe me a date, captian."

"That I do, I'm going to make it a date you'll never forget."

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

You and Kyle were doing one of your weekly walks on one of the trails near your home.

It was a habit the two of you had formed, and it was a way for you both to unwind from the stresses of your lives.

It was early on a late winter morning, and you were just making your way over a small wooden bridge that rested above a small river. Kyle looked over at you and chuckled as he watched you shiver slightly.

"Should've taken a coat, kid. I told you it was cold."

"I'm no weakling. Besides, we are almost home anyway, I'll be fine." You giggled, bumping into him as the two of you walked.

He gave you the slightest of nudges, as the two of you laughed. At that same moment, you were walking over a small slick puddle on the bridge, causing you to lose your footing.

It happened in the blink of an eye, your valance being thrown off, sending you toppling over the side of the small bridge, into the freezing water below.

Kyle's entire world froze, and sheer panic set in. He watched as your frame disappeared into the water, and he immediately bolted across the bridge, to get to the ground below.

"Y/N? Y/N!" He screamed, his eyes frantically searching for you.

He saw your head emerge from the water, gasping for air as you struggled to tread above the surface. Without hesitation, he tore off his coat and jumped into the freezing water, swimming after you.

~

Dragging you to the surface, he grabbed his coat off the ground and wrapped it around your frame, holding you tightly to him, rubbing the length of your arms vigorously. "Are you okay?"

You gave a nod, as a chill ran through your body. "Thank you, for saving me. I couldn't feel my body."

"I will always, always save you. No matter the cost." He pressed a warm kiss to your temple, shivering slightly as he began to realize just how cold it was. "You are my everything, Y/N. I'm so sorry, this was my fault."

"I should've watched where I was going, it's okay. I'm okay." You said it more to yourself than to Kyle, in an attempt to calm your racing heart.

"Let's get going, I'll draw a hot bath for us when we get back. I think we both at a minimum are going to catch a cold from this." Kyle chuckled, helping you to your feet.

"Maybe this'll teach me to wear a coat next time."

König-

"I'm right behind you, Kö, go!" You called out, running as fast as your legs could carry you.

The building was crumbling around you and the team as you all struggled to make your way outside to safety.

You were nearly out of the building when you tripped on a loose piece of concrete, sending you toppling to the floor. "KÖNIG!"

But it was too late, König was already out in the open before he heard you, and the building finally crumbled to the ground before he registered your cry for help.

"MAUS!" König cried out, watching as the dust settled from the crumbled building. His legs moved before his brain could catch up as he darted toward the rubble.

"König, wait! You're going to get yourself killed!" Price called out, trying to stop the Austrian from running to you.

"I can't leave them!" König slid to his knees and began to dig away at the rubble bit by bit. "I can't leave them."

König felt tears pooling in his eyes, the thought of losing you tearing at his heart in a way that made it nearly hard for him to breathe. "They're my everything."

Price and the others knew that fighting him was hopeless and ran to his aid. They spent the better part of 20 minutes throwing rubble to the side, and were just about to give up when they heard a faint cry from underneath them.

"Help! I'm in here!" You choked out, your throat filling with dust from each breath you took. "Please."

König was sent into a frenzy at your cries for help and doubled his efforts to remove the rocks. "Maus, I'm here! Hold on, I'm here!"

With one final rock thrown to the side, your beaten and battered frame came into his line of sight, and he felt the weight on his shoulders fall off.

You were covered in debris and blood, but still had that beautiful smile on your face. "König."

He reached his hands down and pulled you up to him in a bone crushing hug. "I'm here, Maus. I'll never leave you again."

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

You and Johnny were running from an onslaught of enemies making their way to your location. You were less than half a mile from exfil, and the two of you were running faster than you ever have in your lives.

Johnny heard gunshots from behind him, and heard a sharp intake of breath come from you.

"Babe, come on, we've got to move!" Johnny called out, looking behind him to make sure you were following. What he saw, had his entire world shifting on its axis.

You looked up at him, through bleary eyes, as your hand clutched at the growing blood splotch on your stomach. "Johnny."

"No, no, no." Johnny ran over to you as you started to lose your footing, and held you in his arms. "Hey, kid, it's alright. You're going to be okay."

"It hurts, Johnny." You whispered, the blood loss causing you to grow weaker by the second. "I'm scared."

"You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to you." His voice was shaky as he struggled to keep his composure. "Please, please keep yourself awake. I'll get us to exfil."

He carried your body and sprinted toward the exfil point, praying to the stars that you would make it out of this alive.

~

Johnny walked into your hospital room a few days later, and his heart felt like it was going to implode when he saw your smiling face looking back at him.

"Theres that beautiful smile." Johnny's voice came from beside your bed. "I thought I lost you."

"I'm here, Johnny. I'm sorry to have scared you." You reached for his hand, giving it a firm squeeze as your eyes met his.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. I don't know what I would've done without you." Johnny's words felt like molasses in his throat, as his tears threatened to pour down his cheeks once more. "I can't live without you."

"I promise. I'm not going anywhere." You pulled him toward you and wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he began to sob into your chest.

"You better not, I won't ever let anything happen to you again."

Alejandro-

Alejandros' worst nightmare had come true. The cartel had taken you hostage in an attempt to get back at him and Los Vaqueros, and it had been nearly three days without any sign of life from you.

He and Rudy were able to locate you at a nearby warehouse, and Alejandro was on a warpath to get to you. Dead bodies were strewn across the floors of the building, left in Alejandro and Rudy's wake.

Alejandro rounded a corner, and his heart stopped at the sight of you strapped to the chair, your body battered, bloodied and bruised.

"Carino!" He called out rushing to your side. He was quick to unstrap the restraints holding you to the chair and caught your limp body as it fell forward. "Carino, please, please be okay."

He carried your weakened body and sprinted alongside Rudy to leave the compound.

His tight grip on you didn't falter the entire ride to the hospital, as hot tears began to fall down his cheeks. Alejandro had been through a lot in his life, but nothing compared to this moment. He could feel the life slipping from you, and bit by bit, his heart began to disintegrate.

~

It was a few days later, when you were finally discharged from the nearby hospital. Alejandro had been distant from you the entire time you were admitted, the guilt of your kidnapping being too much for him to handle.

You weren't going to take his distance any longer, however, and decided to approach him about it a short while after you both got home.

"Alejandro, we need to talk. I'm okay, now. It's okay." You spoke, resting your hand on his shoulder gently. "Please, talk to me."

"It's not okay, I failed you. I should've been there. It's because of -."

"Ale, it's not your fault." You turned him toward you gently. "I don't blame you, not in the slightest."

"But it is, I'd understand if you didn't want to be with me anymore." His gaze fell from you, his eyes lingering on the floor below. "You're not safe with me."

"Don't say that. Alejandro, I'm safest when I am with you. I am not, and will not ever leave you."

Alejandro choked on a sob as he collapsed to his knees in front of you, wrapping his arms around you and resting his head against your abdomen. "I don't deserve you, hermosa, but I will spend the rest of my life making you the happiest person I can. And I promise you, I will protect you no matter the cost."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I really struggled with writing this one- I hope you all enjoy!

[just-shairahhh]

The Way I Couldn't Love You

~ A "The Way I Loved You" story continuation.

Summary: Will you and Eddie get a second chance at what you lost? Or will the history tear through everything you had once built together?

Note: This post is a continuation of the story, "The Way I Loved You".

"And there you were, years later. Again. Sobs breaking through your chest. Again. Sending tremors in his heart. Again. Except this time, Eddie Diaz knew who they were for. "

Everyday. Every single day of the first year since you moved away, you imagined in your head what it would be like to see Eddie again. A thousand scenarios swirling in your mind, tentacles of the nightmare you had to live through every day, creeping into your broken heart and imprisoning it in a tight grip, as you lay there. In the same dark corner. For hours. Until sleep showed you some mercy and reeled you in. Everyday.

Anger. Hurt. Betray.

You’d imagined it all. It was as if you could picture his stormy, hazel eyes pierce into you, the storm brewing in them upending your life all over again. And then you stopped. Squeezed your eyes tighter and stopped. You could feel the bile rising in your throat at the mere thought of seeing hatred in the eyes that had only ever looked at you with love. Pure, selfless love. No, it was too soon. You can’t see him yet. So you picked up your phone from the corner of the sofa you had slammed it in and replied to your sister’s text in a single word, “No”. And that was the hardest thing you had ever had to write, which was funny because once in a Spell-Bee competition you thought, “Embourgeoisement” was hard.

Your sister’s question did not leave your mind for the rest of the day, though. Or the coming week. Or the months that followed.

“Eddie was here again. Asking for an address or a contact. Said he really needed you. And that everything was falling apart. He looked worse than before, y/n. Should I send him your address?”

What did he mean everything was falling apart? Is he okay? Are his parents hurting him again? You tried to shut the voices out. You'd be back home on the next flight if you let them come in. Plus, he had Shannon now. He would be okay.

"I am sorry, Eddie. There's nothing more I want than to be right next to you. But if I fall again, I won't be able to get up. I can't. I need to heal. I really, really need to heal. I cannot live in this pain anymore. I am so, so sorry". You whisper into the night as you snuggle further into your pillow.

.....

“I don’t want dinner, mom! Leave me alone. Please.” The last word already more breathless and shakier than you’d like.

“That’s too bad. Cause I got you your favourite; that disgustingly sugary sweet abomination in the name of coffee” Eddie said as he entered through the door and made a very disgusted face as if someone had asked him to take Tabasco shots. Someone had once, by the way. It was you. And he had still made a better face. “And Chef Eddie’s personally mastered craft, tacos and enchiladas.” He said, proudly smiling and throwing around chef kisses.

You gave him a blank stare. And a second later, he relented.

“Fine, my abuela made them. God, woman. Lighten up. You broke up with an el tonto. I always warned you he was an el tonto. Not even a real man. Maybe you were a bigger idiot. But eh, what’s done is done. I’d say we celebrate”.

And just like that, at the mention of Josh, fresh tears broke free, replacing the now dried ones.

"Hey, hey, hey. I am sorry. I was kidding. Come here.” Eddie stepped in closer, about to engulf you in a hug.

But you pushed him away. “Go away, Eddie. Seriously. I don’t want to see you right now.”

“I will not, y/n. Not unless you eat. Your mom said you haven’t eaten anything for hours.” His light-hearted banter now long gone, a more assertive voice stepping in. You knew it meant that he was concerned but you hated when he took that voice with you. It was very different than the one he took with Shannon. That concern was always laced with a soft plea at the end or a light kiss behind her ear.

Shannon. Just her name, brought out the anger you’d been trying to hold in.

But you try once more to not let the agony engulf you. To not be the person you are about to become if Eddie does not listen to you. “Go. Away. Eddie. I will have the food when I am hungry.”

Eddie, however, was not having any of it. “Come on, here. Let me get this for you. If you try one –”

And that’s when you lost it and screamed at the last person you ever wanted to raise your voice at. “GO AWAY! WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!” He tried to reach out again but you swatted his arm away. Hitting him on the chest once. Twice. Thrice. So he would just listen to you. Why is he not listening to you? He needs to go.

The long suppressed agony now letting itself out completely. Josh was not a good boyfriend to you. But he was a good friend before that. And when you broke up with him, you knew you’d lost that. This was all Eddie’s fault. He left you. All alone. And he went to Shannon. And you thought maybe, just maybe if you start dating, it will all go away? This... this hurt. All this pain. But it did not. But you knew. In your heart, you knew that it was not Eddie's fault. That he did loved you. He would do anything for you. Just not in the way you wanted. And that tore at you every day but that was not his fault. It couldn’t be.

And then you realise you that you are still hitting him. What are you doing? You stop as soon as you realise that and look up. There he was, your best friend. Taking it all in. Not saying anything. You feel so awful, so absolutely broken. And you feel tired. So very tired. So with a barely held sob, you slump forward, into his arms. Which were waiting for you, as if knowing. Waiting. Understanding.

So, you sob harder. Because that was the first day in all these years it had truly set in that Eddie would never be what you craved in him. You'd always thought one day it would all come back. That he would come back. But now you knew that he won't. He would always be here though. Just never yours.

But what you didn’t realise that day was Eddie’s heart was also breaking. If not more, then just as much as you. That was the first time he felt his best friend was slipping away and he was unaware. So very unaware of how much his best friend had loved this guy who broke her heart. He cursed himself for not understanding the gravity of the situation. What he didn't know was that, the sobs breaking through his chest, causing tremors in his heart were not for Josh but for him.

You didn’t notice the bandage on his knuckles for the next few days. You also didn’t notice that Josh Lawson was gone longer than the bandage had stayed.

And Eddie never told you either.

.....

“y/n?”

“Eddie.” You whisper softly.

You couldn’t recall how long you were spaced out for. When cold, familiar tears slid down your cheeks as easily as they used to, only then did you start to process the situation again.

“I- I... I have a few engine supplies to check. I should...” Buck slowly started.

No! Evan! What must he even be thinking? You slowly raise your eyes up at him. Expecting the worst. But his kind face only held understanding in them. He gave you a tight lipped smile before taking a few steps backward.

“Oh, this” you softly started and he followed your eyes and and looked down at the basket in your hands.

“Right.” He quickly took the box from your hand. “Muffins are my favourite! Ooooh, blueberry!” He gave you one last smile and walked back.

You still hadn’t looked at Eddie but you could feel his eyes follow you. With a deep breath, you somehow muster the courage to look up and nothing would have prepared you for what you saw.

You wished it was what you feared it all those years ago. You truly did. Anger. Fear. Betray. But he wasn’t any of those things. He was simply... lost.

Third Person POV:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we lose something precious. A person, a memory, an object, a feeling; something we always, effortlessly considered a part of us. We would look everywhere, drive ourselves insane and would not know how to survive without it.

But then we learn. Slowly. Painfully. We grasp on how to survive without it and we start living again. But then one day, it turns up. But by then we don’t know how to feel. We have learnt to live with what we have lost but that doesn’t mean we have not felt incomplete in our existence. And just like that, we are back to the day we lost and we were lost. As clueless now as we were then.

Eddie Diaz was lost. He didn’t know how to take in what he had learnt to let go, now standing right in front of his eyes. The day that y/n left, she didn’t just take away his best friend, she took a part of him with her. A part that he had willingly given away to her to safekeep the first day he saw her across the fence looking at him with eyes that promised him the world. A part that was always meant to be hers.

A soft sob escaped y/n’s lips. Tears now freely slipping down her face. She had run this day through her head uncountable number of times. She thought it would all come back. The ghosts of her night and the nightmares of her day. The girl she used to be. But they didn't.

All that came back were the memories she had long buried down. But this time they didn't strike her like a snake, angry and hissing, it's fangs out, ready to poison her. This time, the memories hugged her like Eddie used to. Soothe her like Eddie used to. Make her feel understood... Like Eddie used to. And in that moment, all her doubts dissolved, and she knew that she had made the right choice when she decided to leave. Had she stayed back, she would have started hating Eddie, every memory she had of him and she knew that she would have started hating herself.

But she had still done Eddie wrong. She knew that. While her heart had healed for her, it also tore through her for what she had broken. There was no escape. Her only escape from everything life threw at her for the longest time, was now standing right in front of her; eyes wide, mouth agape and tears, years worth of tears threatening to spill through the barriers of his eyes behind which Eddie had managed to hide himself for a long time now.

"You're not in uniform" y/n whispered out. Her heart had started to spiral down several dominoes of emotions. And she could no longer think straight. Instead, she decided to focus on the patterns on his mustard yellow shirt.

"Yes, because my uniform totally should be your first concern after you just up and left the night of my wedding. While you're at it, why don't you go inside and check the logs to make sure whether I was on time for my shift or not?" Eddie replied.

What further pushed y/n down the ledge was the fact that Eddie did not shout, or scream or throw the words at her. He simply sounded... Defeated. Long gone was the boy who held fire in his eyes. Standing next to her now was a man who had seen it all fade away.

Soldiers. Friends. Humanity. His best friend. His Marriage. And maybe somewhere, himself. Or atleast the version of him that she used to know. She could not stand there pretending he had changed when she was the one who pulled away first.

So, she kept quiet and focused on the colours running checks on his shirt.

Brown. White. Blue.

"You left me, y/n. Why." He did not ask it as a question. More like a statement. As if he too, had gone through that one moment he found out y/n had left. For a very long. In a never ending loop. And when you do that enough, your mind starts to give you answers. Not the one you necessarily seek but the ones that bring out your worst insecurities. And there he was, her heart's closest confidant doubting all that he was, for himself and for her, on the basis of a single memory that turned both their worlds upside down all those years ago.

Brown. White. Blue.

"You told me you would be there for me forever but you weren't. During the worst trials of my life, you weren't".

She could feel his voice tremor slightly as he slowly stepped closer. A single treacherous tear making its way down his beautiful face.

Y/n's POV:

Brown. White. Blue.

"You told me you'd always be my by side. But maybe you didn't mean those promises enough"

Brown. White. Blue.

"Or maybe I wasn't enough. Your family obviously knew everything. And our friends did too, I'm guessing. Everyone content with your decision, happy for you. I felt it."

Brown. White. Blue.

"And there I was, the only one left in the dark. Driving around like someone took away a part of my soul. And guess what? That is exactly what happened".

Brown. White. Blue.

"And I waited. For the longest time. Because I couldn't have imagined my life without you. Because I loved you. And I thought you did too. So why?"

"It's because I loved you." You scream at him through the tears, each word that he had said, striking all the cords that you had yourself been stricken by before.

You looked up at him through your clouded eyes and knew, that still, he had no idea.

Well, what time like the present? Infront of a firehouse, where he works. Where you'd come to meet one of his colleagues. What would be a better place to share the most vulnerable, sensitive corners of your heart?

"It's because I loved you that I let all the hurtful emotions of a teenage heart tore through me but stayed by you when you needed to talk about your relationships. It's because I loved you that I stood beside you and fought against your family so that you could marry the woman you loved, when all I wanted to do was scream at you, ask you to not marry her. It's because I loved you that I left the people, the home and the family I'd known all my life so that I didn't end up hating you. Everything was always because I loved you. And it was because you couldn't love me back".

You fall apart, sobs wreaking through you but no sound making it out because you were pressed into his comfortable, warm chest. One hand tightly holding you, as if he still couldn't believe you were here, as if you would disappear if he let go. The other weaving through your hair. Like he used to do all those years ago, something he knew would always calm you down.

And there you were, years later. Again. Sobs breaking through your chest. Again. Sending tremors in his heart. Again.

Except this time, Eddie Diaz knew who they were for. As everything started to make sense to him.

"You know I loved you. I always did." He spoke softly into your ear. His voice heavy with emotions, trembling at every pause. His cheek pressed against your hair.

You could feel the realisation coursing through him and the guilt digging in his chest. It was Eddie. You knew him better than yourself on some things. The way he pulled you closer and tightened his arms around you, burying his face into your hair; told you enough.

"Yes, you did. But not the way I loved you. And that is so okay. I couldn't be more at peace. But that's now. That was not what was going on then. I needed to leave, Eddie. I am sorry. I really did. Every corner of that town spoke to me of us. I felt suffocated in my own home. I needed to be there for myself. I never meant to leave you. But if I hadn't, I would not have been able to be there for you either". You whispered back. Putting it all in your words. Hoping he would still get you like he always did.

He nodded. Just once. Softly.

"There's a chinese place down the block. I just got off duty. Wanna get some food? Maybe I will tell you about this y/e/c eyed beauty Buck couldn't stop talking about ever since he met her. I'm guessing that would be you?" Eddie smiled down at you. It wasn't a lot. But it was a beginning. Or the promise and hope of one. But where would you be today, had you not been living for the hope of it all.

"Actually, tell me about you first. And the very handsome Christopher. I know there's a lot to catch up on but spring rolls are a very good place to start. But then we are jumping right back to what Evan said about me." You smiled back as he led you to his car, shaking his head at you.

Things might not be okay for a long time maybe. It will take time and efforts. A lot of both. Some things you've to let time heal, others you have to work on for an even longer time. But it's efforts you're willing to put, maybe more than Eddie this time. And that's okay. Both of you are gonna be okay.

"Oh, you won't believe who I met in LA. And right on my first week. A little piece of shit we went to high school with. It was so annoying. Character development really is not for some people. Also, about Evan.... Uhmmm..."

.

.

.

[brrrkdslek]

part 1—ledge

"hello?" mingi asked loudly as he held his phone against his ear, the chattering of his friends in the background making it hard gor him to hear. "yes, this is him. who is this?" his friends slowly shifted their attention to mingi upon seeing his smile drop. "mingi, what is it-" suddenly, he stood up. "what did you say?" he stood frozen for a few seconds before hanging up. mingi grabbed his bag and dashed out of the restaurant, confusing his friends.

his heart was beating hard and loud, the guilt weighing hard on his shoulders, his body feeling heavier with each step he took. he should've gone, he should've been there for you, but he wasn't. because of his new friends that he had so much fun with, all while you cried and suffered alone.

mingi's vision became blurry as tears filled his eyes. it's not that he didn't want to see you, no he would never, but he just wanted to spend more time with his newfound friends, friends that he never had except for you. he was too greedy and asked for too much, when all he needed was right in front of his eyes, seeing him and smiling at him everyday.

mingi was all sweaty and panting upon reaching the hospital, making a beeline towards your hospital room. the overwhelming guilt engulfing his with each nearing step towards your hospital room. the white walls of the corridor suddenly felt suffocating, mingi bit his lip anxiously as his hand hovered over the doorknob.

he felt his breath stop when he opened the door to see you thrashing in the arms of multiple nurses. "no, get off me! let me die, just let me die already!" you cried and pushed, just like a child would. his body moved instinctively as he watched the doctor take out a sedative needle.

"no!" he shoved past the nurses and held your head against his chest, you stopped your movements and trembled in his arms. the nurses and doctor shared a look before leaving the room, allowing the two to some privacy.

mingi buried his face into your head, "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. i-i was selfish and i just," he chokes on a sob, "i neglected you and i'm sorry..." he kissed your head, "i'm so sorry, my love." you pulled your head out of his chest and looked up at the male with wet eyes, "that's all i ever needed to hear, mingi."

mingi always hated it, he hated how easily you could dismiss his wrongs no matter how big they were just because he said a simple 'sorry'. you were this selfless person that he had taken advantage of for so many years now, and he's only realising now how important you are to him, only now after you tried to kill yourself.

mingi felt ashamed, ashamed for not seeing himself, for not seeing you. he was so sure you'd stay no matter the circumstances and he was right, but it didn't mean that you don't have feelings. all those years of hurt and suffering you experienced disappeared with just one simple apology from him, that was how much he had meant to you.

mingi couldn't bring himself to look into your eyes, the guilt weighing heavy on his heart. he sinks to his knees on the ground, head buried into your folded lap, your hands doing god's work on his fluffy head of hair. you never held grudged against mingi and he knew that. he was foolish, but you even more.

after so many years of coming and going by mingi, you still kept your bright smile and excitement every time you saw him, you were a fool, a fool in love. hearing his empty apologies all those years made you happy, because it was from him.

mingi sobbed into your lap, hands gripping your thighs tightly, as if you'd leave him then, which you could. you brushed through his hair and smiled gently, blinking tiredly. "mingi-ya," the man looks up at the mention of his name, "i'm tired," you pause, "so tired... so please, if you don't care, then go." your words felt like knives stabbing through mingi's chest, but your eyes screamed for him to deny it, for him to confess his undying love to you and be yours forever.

"no, no! i-i won't leave," mingi rises from his position, feeling his blood flow back into his legs, "i'll change, i promise! i love you, i do!" you bit your lip as more tears left your eyes, "do you really?" you looked down, "or do you just like the way i follow you around?" he stiffens, "like your puppy that's always excited to see you no matter what, like i'm only your entertainment."

you look up into mingi's wide eyes, his chest rising and falling heavily. "i-i," he takes your hands in his, "i do, and i'll prove it to you." holding your cheeks gently, he captures your lips in a slow and loving kiss, hands going around your waist to pull you up. as he pulled away, your noses were still inches apart. you look up into his eyes, "i..."

"love you too."

"don't love you."

[juno-fiction-liker]

thinking about the moment janus finally breaks. he's convinced himself that he doesn't need to be liked by the others, that he's alright being hated, as long as he's able to do his job. but it has to weigh on him. it has to erode at him slowly, through the years, resentment building. he keeps a tally of the times he's protected thomas on his wall, to remind himself of why he keeps going despite never once being thanked. his form of protection is seen as immoral, his defenses misinterpreted as attacks on thomas' moral code. every other side casts him in the role of the villain, as some outside force of evil, instead of an integral part of thomas' mind.

that has to weigh on him.

i imagine he was born sometime after the twins, around the same time as patton, since they are two sides of a coin. selfishness and selflessness. self-preservation and morality. the side that protects thomas first and foremost and the side that protects thomas' integrity and morals.

they clashed from the start, but with every lie thomas told to protect himself, the rift grew larger and larger, patton's guilt grew stronger and stronger, until eventually he began to reject janus as a part of thomas at all. and the others followed suit.

janus was the first dark side, the first side of thomas that the others couldn't accept. which meant that he was cast out alone, young, probably no older than 12, into an empty space. he started keeping a tally. a tally, just for himself. a torn off paper from a notebook, a single pencil. to keep track of every time he saved thomas. protected thomas. kept thomas safe. slowly, the wall filled out. drawings of thomas. lists of things thomas likes. lists of things thomas could do to calm down when stressed.

but thomas didn't know him. the others were keeping him locked up there, in his own room of darkness, he grew bitter and resentful.

everything that happened happens, and everyone expects him to just move on from the years of rejection and ungratefulness.

and one day, he just breaks.

one last comment from a well-meaning patton, one last "he's trying to manipulate you" at thomas, and suddenly janus is screaming and sobbing, "why won't you listen to me? why does no one ever listen to me? i'm a part of him too, i'm not working against you, i'm not your enemy, i love him, i've always loved him. i just want to help him. i want to protect him. that's all. that's all i've ever wanted."

and there's a moment of silence, of confusion. janus disappears into his room.

they find him in the corner, by the pages. there must be hundreds of them by now. lists of likes, dislikes, triggers, comforts. a tally reaching over the original page, now filling the wall next to it instead. self-care guides personalized for thomas. ineffective defense mechanisms crossed out, effective ones circled. an entire and extensive guide to taking care of thomas sanders, built through the years with incredible care and affection, a monument to janus' love for thomas.

and that's when the others realize, all at once, that thomas probably would not be alive right now if it weren't for janus.

one after the other, they reach out to touch him. to hold him. for the first time taking him into their arms as one of their own. their deceit. their self-preservation. he's exhausted to the point of not reciprocating the touch in any way, but his eyes are closed and his muscles relax, he lets his body be held and loved as he weeps out the rest of his resentment into their arms. finally accepted.

but the most important touch is thomas' own. he reaches out, after a moment's hesitation, to hold janus' face in his hands. he stares into his eyes, finally understanding this part of himself for what it is. he pulls him into a gentle kiss, not romantic, just comfort. again, and again, and again, as he whispers what janus has wanted to hear all this time "thank you, thank you, thank you. i love you. you're mine. i love you. please stay. please be a part of me forever."

[just-horrible-things]

Mind Control

They tell her that it’s not her fault. They tell her she was ensorcelled, that her actions were not her own.

Perhaps they are right. She can recognise, distantly, like studying letters through a glass, that her actions were out of character. That she’s never felt any urge to do such a thing before or since.

They tell her she could not have resisted. That no one in her position could have resisted. They tell her they know that she fought as hard as she could, and that hurts worst of all because she doesn’t think she fought at all.

In that moment, that cut-glass moment that has etched itself forever in her memory, there was no struggle. She didn’t grapple in her mind with the awful impulse. Her hand didn’t shake with the effort of trying to hold it back.

In that cold, crystalline moment, she wanted to kill him. More than she had ever wanted anything. There was no second guessing, no moment of hesitation. She wanted, and she acted on that want. And as the sword drove between his ribs, shearing muscle and sinew like so much new, tender grass, she felt only satisfaction, as profound as any joy she ever felt.

That, in itself, makes no sense, she knows. It’s as profoundly out of character for her as anything she can imagine. Even if it was not sorcery, it must have been sheer unbridled madness. And she tries to find some comfort in that, for are the mad truly responsible for their actions either?

She still feels it though.

For all her hoarse-voiced apologies, all her tears, all the sobs that shook her to the core, she cannot convince herself that she really, truly regrets his death.

Oh, she regrets the pain she has caused their mutual friends. She is sorry – so sorry that she cannot look them in the eyes, so sorry that she isn’t sure she can live with herself – for the grief that she can see tearing their hearts apart. How she could do such a thing to them – that’s the part that almost convinces her that they must be right. That murder could not have been her own choice.

But for the man himself, her friend of two decades – she feels only that lingering, twisting satisfaction.

They tell her she isn’t a monster. But she can’t tell them the truth. Even as the guilt eats her alive, she can’t bring herself to tell them that despite everything, she’s glad he’s dead.

Did she always hate him? She doesn’t think so, but it’s so hard to recall. She searches her memories, twenty years of friendship, and she can’t remember what it was like to laugh with him without that nagging doubt that perhaps he was laughing at her all along.

So hard to remember their shared successes, although she knows there were plenty. So much easier to recall the times he cut her with his careless words. Always meant in good humour, she knows. She knew it then. He never could be serious. She always laughed it off and told herself it meant nothing. But now she finds every little cut festering, corrupting her memories with bitter resentment.

He was always better than her. Physically, yes, stronger, taller, with greater reach and greater stamina. Smarter too, quicker off the mark, always running circles around her with his words. She tried so hard not to resent his strengths, and she always thought she did okay, but now the worm of jealousy squirms through every thought of him.

Couldn’t there have been just one arena in which she could outperform him? Couldn’t he have slowed down for her even once?

Worse, she knows he’d never have thought such things about a dead friend. He was always nobler than her, too. Always arguing for the selfless path.

She should admire that in him. Maybe she once did. But it only makes her feel small and grimy and greedy for how she could never quite put her own wants aside the way he did. A coward, a worm, never courageous enough. Not beside him.

Especially now that he’s dead. How can she think such things? How, in the face of the monstrous thing she’s done, can she still be caught up in such petty resentments?

They tell her it wasn’t her choice. They say it with such certain conviction. But how can they be sure? They say they know her and they know she’d never have hurt him. But does anyone truly know another person? Does she even know herself?

Perhaps she never hated him before. Perhaps the sorcery wormed its way inside her mind and destroyed her friendship so thoroughly that she cannot even recall what it used to be like. Or perhaps it only worked because she already harboured all these ugly feelings. Perhaps if she’d been a better friend and better person, it would have found no purchase in her mind and he’d still be alive.

Or perhaps there was never any sorcery at all. She wants to believe, like the others believe, that she isn’t a murderer. That this isn’t who she is.

But she remembers how good it felt to act for once without doubt or hesitation, and she cannot convince herself that it was not her all along.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hello I’m sorta new to ur blog and I would like to request an emergency request!

I don’t really know how it works so if there’s something I didn’t or did do wrong please ignore this!

I’ve recently caught myself having suicidal thoughts since I really do not like the pain of losing a loved one and think it’s better dying then ever experiencing it again. It sounds selfish but I can’t help thinking about it. It’s weird since for me the feeling of losing someone is way more strong then I think it is for other people and I know people around me will feel sad about me being gone but I tell myself what’s the point if I’m dead anyway. It’s a very selfish and selfless way of thinking and I know that, if you do not feel comfortable with this. Again please ignore this,

But how would law and sanji react to their fem! Partner having these thoughts?

Thank you and have an amazing day:)

First things first, let me say that my heart goes out to you. Second thing, please, please, please go see someone and get some help. I know it's probably hard or perhaps not what you want to hear, but please.

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, emergency request, mentions of death

Word Count: 1405

     They were gone. How could they be gone? How could they be… how could they be dead? Feeling the tears run down your cheeks, you curled your fingers in your hair. Part of you knew that death was part of the job. It came with being a pirate, but to be honest, you’d never actually, truly thought about it. Something that was in the back of your mind but never something that was really real. You just wanted to die; better to die than to experience somebody else dying, right? Better to end things than to have to experience this pain again. Worse yet, watching everyone else go about doing things, it felt like you were the only one mourning. Did they not feel their death? They looked sad, but how could they just continue to go about their lives? Continue to work like they were? You didn’t even hear the door open, didn’t notice your partner looking at you with such sympathy and sadness. He’d noticed your change in mood, in attitude, and it had worried him a little, but now seeing you curled up on the floor, he was more worried than ever. 

Sanji

     The blond walked over to you, sitting down next to you before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you out of your thoughts as he carefully maneuvered you into his lap.

     “I’ve been looking for you, ma cherie. Why are you hiding such beauty away in here?” he asked softly, placing one hand on the back of your head, stroking your head as he pressed your head against his chest to listen to his heart. All you could do was shake your head as the tears turned into full sobs. His arms wrapped tighter around you, trying to make out your words through your bawling. Finally making out what you were saying caused his heart to break. You were in so much pain. He wouldn’t lie and say that he was unaffected, but seeing how hard it was hitting you, he wished that he was more affected so that you would be less affected; to take away your pain, even if it meant taking it on himself. It reminded him of when he lost his mother, the pain stabbing at his heart, bleeding his young heart dry. 

     His lips met your forehead as he cradled you close, cooing gently as he tried to comfort you. Admittedly, he felt a little bad that he hadn’t noticed the severity sooner, but he also thanked the heavens that he noticed it when he did; noticed it before things went too far. 

     “It’ll be okay, mon amour, I’m here, I’ll stay here by your side and help you get through this, okay? I know it hurts, but please, please don’t… don’t do… that. I couldn’t live without you, you’re my entire world. Whatever you need, I’ll get it for you, just… please, I… don’t do that. And remember, I’m always here. You can come to me anytime, whatever you need. Please just… stay, for me?” he pleaded, tears starting to make their way down his cheeks. He didn’t want to make you feel worse, but it hurt him so much that you were even considering such a thing. You were his everything, his light, his love, he couldn’t bear to be without you. 

     “Please, please, please… don’t… don’t do anything, don’t leave me. You can call me selfish if you want, let me be the selfish one and ask you to stay. You… you’re too sweet, too kind, to be selfish like that. So let me be the selfish one and ask you to never leave my side.” He pleaded, nuzzling his face into the top of your head. Clutching his shirt as if your life depended on it, you could only nod, still sobbing. He didn’t know how long he stayed with you like that, only that Luffy had started screaming for him about lunch. Glancing down at you, his brow furrowed. You’d cried yourself to sleep. Carefully picking you up, he moved you to his bed before storming out to his captain.

     “Luffy! Shut up! Y/n is sleeping and I don’t need you waking her up. I swear, if you wake her up, I’ll throw all the meat on the Sunny over the side of the ship!” Sanji threatened, making the boy’s eyes widen and nod. Sighing, he paused, “She’s taking this hard, just… let me take care of her for a little while. Just until she’s better.” Sanji requested, watching as his captain nodded again. He’d be there for you as long as you needed, anything to make sure you were okay.

Law

     Being a doctor and being your partner always, always made things hard for him. When did he draw the line? Where did he stop and go “I’m a doctor and you need to take these meds”? At what point should he stop holding you close and instead get you a therapist? Standing here in front of you, he pondered this even more. Should he approach you as your partner or your doctor? Doctor or partner, doctor or partner? Taking a deep breath, he picked you up, drawing a surprised gasp as he ‘shambles’ed you both to his room, laying down on his bed with you and holding you close.

     “If you needed to cry, you should have come to me.” Law said awkwardly, running his hand up and down your back, letting you cling to him. You were silent for a moment, not entirely sure what you should say. Finally you mumbled out what was wrong, the words muffled in his chest. His brow furrowed, his hand on your back halting for a moment. Doctor or partner, doctor or partner? 

     “You… I want… I want you to see someone about this… I need to know if you need to be medicated long term for depression.” he said after a minute. He was your partner, but he was also a doctor. This would be the best option for both sides. As a doctor, he wanted what was best for your health, as your partner, he wanted you to be okay. This would help you be okay… right? Laying there, the man grew nervous by your silence. Were you mad at him for suggesting it? Were you going to turn him down? Or worse, close yourself off? Finally, thankfully, you nodded. He was a doctor, he loved you, he’d know what was best for you, right? Sure, you wanted to die, but… but Law knew what to do, right? The man sighed in relief, his arms wrapping tighter around you, muttering quiet ‘thank you’s. Fuck, you’d scared him. He couldn’t lose you. He’d lost enough, he couldn’t lose you too, least of all to this, not like this. His family to the World Government, Cora-san to Doflamingo, he couldn’t lose you, not like that.

      He couldn’t help but relax ever so slightly, relieved that you listened. You’d be okay, you’d get help and you’d be okay. He’d keep a close eye on you and you’d be okay, he’d make sure of it. It would take a while, he knew it would take a while, but you would be okay. Okay, he didn’t actually know that for certain, but with as scared as he was, he needed to tell himself that, he needed that reassurance that you wouldn’t leave him. Just like you, he couldn’t experience that again. Too many times had he seen that, he couldn’t do it again. Cuddling you closer, he breathed in your scent, as if trying to memorize it, as if he was still going to lose you. It was only now that you realized how much he was trembling, the realization dawning on you. He couldn’t lose anyone else again, just like you, he’d rather die than experience that again. It made you wonder how he did it. How did he deal with the crushing weight of knowing he could lose his entire crew yet stay so strong? Maybe… Maybe you could find out; maybe, if you stayed, you could find out and you could be like him, be strong like him. Slowly, your breathing steadied, evening out as you dozed off. Almost as soon as you were asleep, Law was letting the others know to head for the nearest island. He’d get you help asap, because he really couldn’t lose you too.

[hexfloog]

(Episode 404, The Mysterious Angel's Mansion - pt. 2)

This little scene is probably one of my favorite DB interactions in the entire show -v- Everything from the way they got here— that is, Conan deliberately starting shit (and then throwing hands sksksk)— to the way they each react to the situation, to the eventual resolution and their implied state of their relationship with Conan...

To be fair, their dynamic is more than implied and we see it in action all the time, but rarely do we get to see anything apart from the reactionary, situational interactions necessitated by some external circumstance. Friends sometimes fight amongst themselves, kids even moreso, but the DB often get tangled in such dire, life-or-death situations that we usually don't get to evaluate the friendship beyond raw reactions to things like Genta nearly being shot, Mitsuhiko going missing, drivers taking off with Ayumi in the trunk, etc.

You could happily argue that this is just proof of strong relationships, because there's no time to premeditate anything and they're forced to be little balls of instinct-- and I would agree, but that's not the angle I'm taking with this scene.

Obviously, Conan is Team Mom, always spearheading the charge and guiding and looking after the others, but if the DB rarely hear Conan apologize for anything (as is the implication here), it fits right in with his character. He's a proud individual and having to even associate with children is, at least in the beginning of the series, embarrassing to him. Haibara even teases him a little afterwards with an observation that it's "tough" to motivate kids, possibly referring to the mental mountain he had to summit by admitting that he was wrong.

The only thing that could maybe make me like this scene more is if Conan's authenticity were less nebulous, but that same ambiguity is exactly what makes this scene appealing to me, too: reuniting the group by forcing a conflict to overcome despair and hopelessness and press onwards for the sake of someone else is, to Shinichi, probable justification to be both disingenuous or earnest about an apology, so I'm… well, I don't come away from this scene really knowing which one it is, and I... kind of love that. The series struggles with grey areas and I will absolutely take what I can get here

So does anyone think he meant it? Shinichi obviously cares about the children, so the natural answer is yes, but whether he's more or less honest about his apology has no bearing on the result— the kids stop fighting either way— so... at least in my head... there is no correct answer. It's left entirely to the viewer and just comes down to how you interpret his character: if he meant it, cool, the fact that he cares enough about the kids to put aside his pride for them is selfless and delightful; if he didn't, well... that's equally intriguing, isn't it? Maybe he's simply too proud to apologize and mean it, and the fight was just a means to an end (and nothing more) so that they could continue pursuing the solution to their dilemma... which could mean that Shinichi has an enduring problem prioritizing the mystery* over his peers (exactly the thing that got him into the Conan mess in the first place)...

This is a very short scene but goddamn if I don't enjoy the hell out of it. I love the kids and I wish they did more open-ended stuff with them like this (sobbing)

[thespiderpals]

somebody

Insomniac!Peter Parker x F!Reader

summary - Peter is always saving everyone else, so for once you want to be the one saving him.

warnings - angst, hurt/comfort, Peter struggles to cope with loss, Peter physically struggling after putting Doctor Octavius away

Everybody needs somebody.

Peter often came home bloodied and covered in bruises. It was never surprising to spot him trying to sneak in through a window in the hopes of not letting you see him like that, but it always hurt you. His pain always hurt you, because he acted like it was nothing for the sake of everyone else. He was too selfless, too self-sacrificing, and every time he went out to face another supervillain you always feared that he wouldn't come home. And not because of a lack of faith in him, but because you knew he would go to any lengths to keep the city safe - to keep you safe - even if it meant losing his life.

So when you see the news of The Raft failing to contain it's prisoners, your heart almost stops at the sight of a familiar red-and-blue hero swinging to the rescue. Your heart sinks to the lowest part of your stomach as you watch the chaos unfold, and witness him being overwhelmed by all the big ones he put away.

And you can't help but cry when he crawls through your window hours later, banged up but okay because Yuri had found him and taken him to the hospital. You can't help but run to him and almost crush his bones again in a hug. You can't help but wet his neck with your tears as you mumble incoherently and tell him how much he scared you - how worried you'd been that you lost him.

And he holds you like he does every time, his arms secure around your waist as he presses several loving kisses to the top of your head. He rubs your back soothingly and tells you he's okay, he's here, and he's not going anywhere. He keeps you against his chest for what feels like forever, but neither of you complain. You're both just glad to be in each other's arms.

"You're so stupid," you tell him with glassy eyes when you finally look up at his tired face.

"I am?" He chuckles, "Why's that?"

"Making me worry so much..." Your hand finds its way to his cheek, and your heart flips as he leans into your touch, contentment on his face at your small but affectionate gesture.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, and you hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I know."

You know he won't stop until he's put every convict back in The Raft. You know he won't stop until he's put an end to Doctor Octavius's plans. So you do the only thing you can, you support him however you're able to. Whatever he needs you to do, you do it. If he needs you at home for the sake of his peace of mind, that's where you go. If he needs you helping out at the F.E.A.S.T center, you're happy to see May again. And you're happy to help the new kid, Miles, adjust.

But when all is said and done, and his heroics give way to tragedy, you're the only one who can stop him from spiralling. When he collapses over May, sobbing uncontrollably, you stand beside him with just as much pain in your heart at the loss of the most important person in both your lives. He blames himself, you already know, and the way he almost crushes your smaller frame in his despair makes your chest ache.

It was never fair to him.

He should never have had to choose.

He's been through enough. Not just in the last eight years, but just the last few days. Losing his mentor, having to fight him, then retrieving the cure only to find out he can't save May AND the city...

Many would be surprised that he's not broken yet.

But they don't see it.

You moved him into your apartment mere hours after he'd been evicted from his. So now that you were living together, you saw everything. The nightmares, the breakdowns, the episodes...you saw all of it.

"May!"

You jerked awake to the sound of Peter's scream, turning quickly to see the man sweating, shaking and in tears. You're quick to move closer to him, wrap your arms around him, and pull him to your chest. You're quick to murmur words of comfort in his ear, into his hair, wherever you can for him to hear.

They don't see him cling to you like you're his lifeline, like you're the only thing keeping him tethered to this world. They don't see how he soaks your shirt with his tears, how his body wracks with sobs as he's bruising your skin with his tight grip. You don't ever mind or care, his strength is the last thing on his mind in those moments and you would rather suffer through the pain than admit he's hurting you. Because he needs you, he needs to hold you, and you don't want to take that away from him.

"I'm here, baby," you reassure him, "It's okay. You're okay." And as you comb your fingers through his hair that you love so much, you mumble the very words he needs to hear. "I love you."

They don't see his hands shaking every time he tries to do menial tasks around the apartment - the way your expression softens and you move over to help him.

"There you go baby," you gently ease the omelettes onto the plates, setting them down on the table for breakfast. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he says shakily, trying to smile at you but you can see the way his lips tremble. "Thanks."

They don't see the way he struggles to deal with inheriting May's house, the way his eyes gloss over as a thousand memories slam into him with the force of a tidal wave. You're sitting on his old bed with him, his hand in yours and your lips pressing reassuring kisses to his shoulder.

"I don't think I could have done this alone," he admits quietly, before looking at you. "Thanks for being here."

"Always," you smile back, squeezing his hand.

He returns the smile, but it fades as he looks around again, "I don't think I can stay here alone either." He looks at you, and runs his thumb across the back of your hand. "Move in with me."

"We were already living together silly," you laugh, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I know," he smiles, "You can bring all your stuff here. Bye bye rent."

You laugh at that and turn to him, "I'll do just that." And then you kiss him, smiling wider when he mumbles 'I love you' against your lips. "I love you too."

No one sees that you're the only reason he's not broken. The only reason he hasn't gone insane. You're always there for him, always there to catch him. He saves the city, and you save him.

Everybody needs somebody, and he's eternally grateful to have you.

He proposes with May's ring, which was willed to him. You're overwhelmed with emotion by the gesture, your heart swelling at the fact that he wanted you to have her ring. And of course you say yes, you've been ready to marry him since before any of this started.

Slowly he starts to heal, and he puts the horrors of the Devil's Breath incident behind him. He chooses to move on, knowing his future looks good with you in it.

"And what would you like for dinner, Mrs Parker?" He teases you every night since you made it official, knowing just how much it flusters you. But that's only a cover, he really likes saying it.

"Hmmm, maybe your world-famous dumplings," you tease back, laughing as you sit at the small table in the kitchen.

"As you wish, my lady."

Slowly, the old Peter Parker comes back to life. He makes more jokes, he sleeps like a log, he's generally more lively and energetic. And you love to see it.

And then Harry Osborn returns.

"You have to meet my wife."

"You're married?! Was I gone for that long?"

When Peter introduces Harry to you, you can see how happy he is and the way his eyes light up is something you haven't seen in a long time. It warms you to see that things are getting better for your hero.

Unfortunately, that peaceful happiness is short-lived.

[ghostlyforxst]

GENDER: Gender Neutral Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere tendencies, toxic reader, mentions of someone getting burned alive, and inappropriate language.

CHARACTER: Shoto Todoroki

WORD COUNT: 683

You grinned, giddy from the alcohol that pervaded your body, as you swayed against a man's cloth dick; his hands dawdled down your sides until they grasped at your hips and his sultry lips grazed the clammy skin of your nape—the air heated with sexual tension.

“Wanna continue this at my place?” The man slurred, sloppily-nibbling at your ear.

You smiled lecherously and pushed yourself from his hold, “Let me get a drink first!”

You staggered towards the bar, plopping down on one of the stools and ordering water, needing to sober up fairly. You rested a hand on your forehead, sipping at your beverage, pondering how to reveal your unfaithfulness to your boyfriend. You do feel guilty for making him believe it could more than just a quick fuck and as well as allowing the relationship to go longer than it should've.

You weren't meant for commitment, you thrived to party and to fling around with other people. You weren't selfless, you were selfish—couldn't he see that? Couldn't he see the way your clothes lazily hung from your body and the hickies that tainted your skin, like right now as you stood in the entrance of y'all house. He was just staring at you, he wasn't screaming at you or threatening to leave you like you assumed he would do.

“Listen Shoto, I honestly haven't been loyal to you and I wasn't expecting our relationship to escalate like it did. I don't think this relationship is cut out for the both of us-”

“Shut it.” he hissed, turning away from you.

You immediately quiet yourself and walk towards the bedroom, gathering your things before coming back into the room he was seated in. “I'm sorry, Shoto.”

“Please don't leave.” He whispered, snatching your wrist.

“We're toxic, I'm toxic Shoto. If I know that, you should know that too. So stop being ignorant and just let me go!”

“I've always known,” He shouted as he abruptly stood from the couch, “I've always known you were fucking other people and I don't care because they end up dead anyways.”

He has eyes everywhere, he is a pro hero.

“What?”

He drops his head, his two-toned hair obscuring his eyes and the tears that slowly welled up. “You'll learn to be loyal, you just need some more time.”

Before you could even mumble out a word, pain gnawed at your head and your vision blurred as flashes of white dots appeared.

“It's going to be fine Y/N, we can start over once you wake up.”

_

Your eyes flutter, adjusting to your surroundings, discerning the muffled screaming ahead of you.

“huh, what the fuck?”

You were staring fearfully at the person who was chained to the basement wall, the person being the man from the club. Your breath hitched, waterline glistening, as your arms and legs rubbed against each other as you try to release yourself from the restraints that bound you to the chair. A plea arises from your wobbly lips, pleading for a relief from the almost claustrophobic feeling that has begun to overwhelm you. Your eyes averts away from the panicked, deafening man to the stairs. The basement door creaks open and footsteps descend down the stairs, and Shoto comes into view.

He gave a delighted look, “you're awake, good...”

Shoto steps in front of the man, shrouding him with his body. Shoto placed a hand on the man's fear-stricken face.

"No Shoto," you beseeched, " please don't do that him-"

The man screamed, struggling as Shoto set him ablaze. You screech in terror, kicking against the ground til you fell with the chair. You sobbed and yelled at Shoto for him to put the fire out even though it was too late, the man's screams had stopped and his body went limp.

You hear Shoto come closer and loom over you, pulling you up and giving a full view of the chrisped man.

“This will happen to every single person until you start being a good little lover, it's all your fault. Do you understand?”

You hesitantly nodded your head, whimpering.

“Good.”

[pagesfromthevoid]

Glitch | k.h. | 4

Kakashi x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.5

Warnings: Angst

Author's Note: This is long as fuck but I wanted to really capture this moment specifically

Talk to Me! | Series Masterlist | AO3

The Funeral of the Third Hokage…

She stood somberly at the funeral of her uncle, flanked by Asuma and Kurenai. Asuma held Kurenai’s hand, and he had attempted to wrap his other arm around his cousin’s shoulders in comfort, but she had shaken him off with a sad smile. Something about the touch made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t want to feel any worse than she already did. Her cousin didn’t question it, used to her distaste for physical touch, and let her be. In front of her stood Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura, alongside Ayato, Sori and Tashiro. Naruto’s shoulders were shaking; trembling as he tried to hold back his tears. She considered reaching out to him, but Iruka beat her to the gesture, and she left the genin be.

The eulogy, delivered by one of the village elders, resonated through the air, speaking of her uncle's bravery, wisdom, and selflessness. Memories of shared laughter and valuable lessons flooded her mind, making her fists tighten at her side, seeking solace in the collective grief that enveloped the village, before they fell limply at her sides in grief. Uncle Hiru had taken her in when her mother and father died, treating her like his own daughter. She didn’t think she’d see the day he was buried –the old man always felt strangely impervious to death.

Kakashi joined the funeral late, taking up the space beside her as the clouds finally shed their own tears. She glanced up at the sky for a moment, letting the rain fall over her cheeks, before she looked up at Kakashi. He was closer than usual, his shoulder brushing against hers. She was almost certain it was accidental; he was just as disinterested in physical touching as she was –if not more. But then, she wasn’t actually certain it was an accident when his fingers brushed hers. Only one hand was in his pocket; the other was at his side, barely centimeters away from hers. It made her stomach flip with butterflies. 

During the final rounds of the exam –before everything had gone to hell –Sakura had asked her why boys insisted on risking their lives in order to achieve their goals. The jonin had asked her to explain what she meant, and Sakura had said that she cared too much about Sasuke to not worry about him getting himself killed for his revenge. She had thought about the answer, considering her the people she cared about the most, before she understood fully what Sakura was feeling.

The feelings Sakura had for Sasuke mirrored the feelings the older woman held for Kakashi. It had been a terrible time to have such a revelation. And before she could properly address it, everything went wrong.

In the following days after Orochimaru’s attack, she had come to terms with her feelings for Kakashi, realizing she cared for him more deeply than she had ever acknowledged. Perhaps it shouldn’t have been surprising; there was always an underlying attraction to him. But to realize, suddenly, that she possibly felt more than friendship towards him…it was hard at first. She had a good excuse, of course, to ignore it. 

As they stood side by side, she had to resist the urge to reach out and take his hand. They were so close, and they were practically touching as it was. It would be no effort at all to simply do it. Just as she mustered up the courage to do so –not so subtly touching his hand and causing his fingers to twitch as if to respond to her motion –Sori turned around and threw his arms around her middle and started to sob. Kakashi stepped away just slightly, glancing at her, but she couldn’t push the kid off. Instead, she sighed and wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close, whispering empty promises that things were okay.

As the ceremony came to an end and people started to disperse, Kakashi began to walk away. Something inside her compelled her to reach out, to bridge the gap between them. With a surge of courage, she snagged the sleeve of his shirt. Kakashi stopped and turned, his visible eye reflecting a mix of concern and confusion. For a moment, she simply held his gaze, wanting to say something –anything. But no words came to her. This wasn’t the time; it wasn’t the place. Instead, she dropped her hand, her eyes searching his face for understanding. There was a silent acknowledgment between them, a shared understanding of the pain they both carried. 

With a heavy heart, she let him go, watching as he walked away. 

“You should have told him,” Asuma said suddenly, appearing at her side. His hand rested on her shoulder, and this time she didn’t shrug it off. 

“Tell him what?” 

“Today isn’t a day to play games, cousin,” he reminded her gently, squeezing her shoulder. “Today reminds us that we don’t always have time.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but snapped it shut. Then she nodded once. Kurenai joined them, taking Asuma’s hand once more, before giving her a soft but sad smile. 

“We worry about him,” Kurenai explained, looking to Asuma for a moment before returning her attention to her. “He’s our friend, and he’s lost so much. But he doesn’t talk to us like he talks to you.”

“He doesn’t really talk to me,” she pointed out, blinking away the raindrops that stuck to her lashes. “Not about anything deeper than training or missions.”

“You spend significantly more time with him than either of us do,” Asuma countered as they walked back towards the village. “Gai says you spend almost as much time with Kakashi as he does.”

She considered her response but couldn’t argue with that observation. They did spend an unusual amount of time together for two people who claim to be too busy to do anything with anyone else. 

The two jonin walked with her for a moment longer before she stopped in front of the Yamanaka flower shop. Then they looked back at her curiously. 

“I…I’m going to go see him, I think.”

Asuma gave her a firm nod, wishing her luck, before she finally turned on her heel and walked the other way. There wasn’t a lot of thought behind her actions; soaked to the bone, still in her funeral attire, she just walked. She even stopped at a take out place and grabbed them dinner —she should have known she had feelings for Kakashi long ago, based on how easily she remembered what he ordered.  

She had passed Kakashi’s apartment building a ways back —one of the jonin complexes that the village set up years back. It was usually guarded by a chunin, not allowing anyone without a code in, but the security post was empty because of the funeral. So she simply walked in and trudged up the stairs, carrying a bag of food and dripping wet. 

When she got to his door, though, she hesitated with her hand in the air to knock. This was a bad idea, right? This was too forward. They just left the Hokage’s funeral. This was inappropriate. But she was there, and it would be cowardly to turn away now. And she could play it off as checking in instead of coming to confess her feelings. Right?

Right.

With a deep breath, she knocked firmly on his door and waited impatiently. Her heart was threatening to burst from her chest the longer he took to answer. Of course he’d be slow to answer the door, just like he was slow to arrive anywhere else. But maybe he wasn’t home. Or maybe he was and he wasn’t willing to entertain guests. Kakashi didn’t seem like the type to have people over and now she was thinking she was intruding and —

The door opened and Kakashi stood in the doorway, mask still hiding his face, but he was dressed down. A sleeveless shirt that was connected to his mask, paired with a simple pair of sweats. His forehead protector was off, leaving both eyes exposed. Though his sharingan eye was shut. 

Suddenly, every single word she had in her head was jumbled and messy. 

He said her name, confused and surprised, and she finally snapped out of it. 

“I brought dinner,” she stated lamely, her voice cracking some as she held up the take out bag. “I…I wanted to check on you.”

“You wanted to…check on me?” He questioned, brow raised. He made no move to let her inside. “You buried your uncle today, and you’re…checking on me?”

She opened her mouth a few times, trying to form some sort of explanation. That was a good point. Why would she check on him? Her uncle died. He should be checking on her. Making sure she was okay. 

“I…,” she paused, biting at her lip for a second. “I wanted to see you. That’s all.”

Kakashi didn’t seem convinced by that admission either, but that was far closer to the truth. He opened the door further, motioning for her to come inside. She stepped through the threshold and toed off her wet shoes, silently scolding herself for not changing clothes. She probably looked like a drowned rat. 

As she hesitated in his entry way, Kakashi reached out and took the bag from her. His fingers brushed against her knuckles gently, and she lost her grip on the food and part of reality. 

“Let me put this in the kitchen,” he offered as he walked away. She talked behind him, taking in the bland surroundings that he lived in. “Then I’ll get you something dry to wear. You’ll catch your death.”

She simply nodded, standing awkwardly in his rather small kitchen, dripping on his tile floors. Kakashi smiled behind his mask and stepped around her, leaving her alone for a moment. His apartment was depressing, she decided. Nothing too personal —no photos on the walls, no decor, drab white walls. It felt like the home of someone who didn’t intend to stay long. 

She realized Kakashi probably didn’t plan to stay there long. It broke her heart, and suddenly she felt the overwhelming tightness in her chest that meant tears. 

“Here,” he announced, holding out a tshirt and sweatpants to her. “They might be a bit big but —are you alright?” His time shifted suddenly, and when she looked up at him, it was through watery eyes. Kakashi dropped the clothes on the counter, crossing the kitchen in two strides to stand in front of her. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t…it’s okay to cry. Today has been hard.”

“I’m not crying over Hiru,” she complained, wiping her eyes with the heel of her palm. “I should be. But I’m not.”

Kakashi’s brow furrowed as he leaned back against his counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why are you crying then?”

“Because of you.”

Silence hung between them for a moment, the air turning tense as Kakashi stared her down. She refused to look away, meeting his gaze with teary eyes.

“I don’t think I understand,” he finally admitted, casting his gaze down.

She shook her head, running a hand over her wet hair to push it out of her eyes. “I…I was talking to Sakura, at the chunin exams. Before you and Sasuke showed up,” she started, voice trembling some as she made the decision to finally admit everything. “She asked me why boys seem willing to put their lives at risk in order to get what they want; I didn’t understand until she explained how she felt about Sasuke, and how he seems willing to get himself killed without thinking about how it would impact those around him.

“I didn’t even think about my response,” she continued, crossing her arms over her chest now. She was shaking now, though she wasn’t sure if it was from anxiety or being cold. “I just…I said that I had someone like that in my life; someone that I worried would get himself killed. It didn’t even register that I was talking about you until you showed up with Sasuke.”

Kakashi didn’t say a word, and she didn’t let him even if he wanted to. “And now here I am, standing in your house, only to see how right I am –you don’t live here, Kakashi,” she motioned around them –to the bare walls, the stark white paint, and the lack of personal effects. “You just…exist in this space, and probably think, ‘Yeah, this will be easy to clean out when I die.’ Because you don’t plan on living, and do you know how fucked up that is?

“I didn’t even realize how not normal it is to worry about someone like that until I talked to your student, of all people. And now all I think about is how much I worry about you, all the time, every day, because I care. Asuma and Kurenai pointed out today that you spend more time with me than anyone else and –,”

“I spend quite a bit of time with Gai too,” he finally spoke, voice barely there.

“Not voluntarily!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “You actively seek me out! And I do the same to you! I go out of my way to find you and I know you do the same! Normal friends don’t do that, Kakashi! Normal friends don’t know that you don’t like mushrooms in your miso soup because you don’t like the texture, and you prefer eggplant over it. I know that though. I know that and I brought you dinner today because we aren’t normal friends. I know that because I think I –,”

“Don’t say it,” he quickly interrupted, standing up straight finally. He stepped closer to her, looking down at her with both eyes open now. The crimson of the Sharingan was almost hypnotic, working even when he wasn’t actively doing so. But he looked almost…alarmed. 

“Don’t say what?”

“Don’t say you love me.”

For a moment, she simply stared up at him, meeting his gaze as she considered what she said next carefully. “I don’t love you, Kakashi. Not like that, at least. Not yet.” His brows furrowed as he stared down at her, and she could see his breath hitch in his throat as she continued to speak. “But I…I think I will if we keep up how we are. Whether it’s as friends or more, I…I don’t think I can help it, Kakashi.”

They stared each other down for a long time, the silence cutting her like a knife the longer it went on. Finally, he sighed and stepped away, picking up the clothing from the counter. 

“Go change,” he ordered gently. “Then…then we’ll talk more.”

She hesitated before taking the clothes from him with a curt nod. Then she padded out of his kitchen and across his living room, which was just as impersonal as the rest of his home. He didn’t have a dining table, which she noted as both a bit sad and strange. And he motioned to the door that was cracked open —his bedroom —and said to change in there. 

Again, the bedroom was just as bare as the rest of his home. His bed was unmade, and there were clothes tossed in the corner which were the only real indicators that he lived there. And it kind of smelled like dogs, which reminded her that Kakashi had dogs —she just wasn’t sure where. As she stripped out of her wet clothes and tossed them to the side, she noticed a picture on his desk —one of the only she'd noticed. Quickly, she slipped into his shirt and sweats, then crossed the room to pick up the photo gingerly.

It was an old photo; a team photo of Team Minato when they had first formed. Kakashi still looked like himself; bored and disinterested in what was happening around them. Obito was grinning like a fool with his goggles, and Rin was smiling brightly between them. Minato was ruffling both the young boys’ hair with a smile that was almost identical to Naruto’s. 

He called her name, causing her to whip around at the sound of his voice. Then she set the photo down and slipped out of his bedroom, shutting the door with a soft click behind her. Kakashi had set up the takeout on the coffee table, where he sat on the floor. She simply stared at him for a moment, appreciating that he hadn’t turned her away when he could have. 

She sat down beside him, swimming in the shirt that he had given her. He pushed her meal toward her. 

“I took the eggplant off yours,” he said, though he didn’t look at her. “I know you don’t like it.”

She stared at her meal, eyes tearing up again as she considered his words carefully. Much like how he wouldn’t properly apologize, she was certain that this was the closest thing to admitting she was right about them she would get. And something about that —the knowledge that she knew him well enough to know that gestures like this meant more than he could actually express —warmed her heart. 

“Thank you,” she murmured, finally looking up at him. 

But, she thought, it wasn’t enough of an answer for her. They both knew that.

Kakashi met her gaze, turning to face her. His eye was closed again, but still piercing as he looked her over slowly. Then he sighed. 

“I can’t…,” Kakashi started, taking a moment to consider what he would say next. “I can’t give you what you deserve.”

She almost scoffed, but stopped herself. “I think I can make that decision myself.”

“You can’t,” he snapped, though it had no real bite to it. Her brow furrowed as she stared at him. “I’m sorry, what I mean –you can’t decide what I can give you. There are things –feelings –that I just can’t give as easily as you think.”

“Then we…we take things at whatever pace you need,” she offered, resting her hands in her lap. Her voice was soft and sincere. 

“You don’t get it.” Kakashi looked away from her, shaking his head. “You know what they call me –you know that the people I love –they end up dead –,”

“Gai isn’t dead,” she interrupted, giving him a pointed look. “Asuma and Kurenai are both very much alive. So is your team. And you know what –just like I love you as my friend, you love me too. And we’ve been friends for years now. I’m not dead; and let me tell you –I have been very hard to kill.” She adjusted some, moving to sit closer to him before reaching out to take his hand carefully. When he didn’t pull away, she sighed in relief. “I don’t know what this is, Kakashi. But I know that it’s more than friendship. And if taking it as slow as you need is what it takes for us to see if it’s what I think it is…I’m willing to try if you are.”

Kakashi watched her closely, his brows knit together as he considered what she was saying to him. She felt scrutinized under his gaze; like he was pulling her apart piece by piece. In the quiet of the moment, her words hung in the air, waiting for something –anything –from him. Kakashi's hand was bare and warm against hers, his calloused fingers a testament to the battles he had fought. His gaze, though intense, softened at her touch, as if her words had chipped away at the walls he had built up for so long. 

Then…he simply nodded. 

He nodded, and squeezed her hand, and she let out a nervous laugh as the tension eased from her entire body. 

“You have to be patient with me,” he quickly amended, looking at their hands for a moment. “I haven’t had many relationships before.”

“Neither have I,” she reassured, smiling at him softly. “I was only half lying to Genma when he asked me out –when I said I didn’t have time to date anyone. I don’t really; but I spend so much time with you…well, that time is already spent with you anyway, so I have plenty.”

Kakashi’s lips curved into a small, genuine smile under his mask at her words, a rare sight that made her heart skip a beat. His eyes, once guarded, now reflected a mixture of emotions — uncertainty, hope, and a touch of amusement. It was a silent acknowledgment of their shared vulnerability, a recognition that they were both stepping into uncharted territory.

“We did skip a few steps,” she pointed out, tugging at his shirt with a sly grin. “I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to wear your clothes if we’re taking it slow.”

“I…think I’m okay with skipping to that step first.” He let out a shaky laugh, nodding some. “I like seeing you in my clothes.”

“That’s good,” she teased, tugging his hand to pull him a little closer. “I’m not giving you this shirt back anyway.”

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hope you dont mind an angsty request but

Can i request Kieran, Carmine, and Drayton see (or heard for Drayton’s part) the reader in a comatose state after taking the blow that was meant for Kieran when Terapagos went out of control. Like they, in the moment, sacrifice themself for Kieran and was somehow still standing after taking the hit but after they caught Terapagos, they immediatley fainted and havent woken up ever since.

(Btw i enjoy your posts!)

Ough this hurts, it's an absolutely devastating concept <//3

(and thank you!!!)

.....

Kieran

Instead of summoning your 'raidon, you shoved him aside and took the full brunt of the tera energy-infused blast, not caring what happened to you.

As long as he was safe.

He couldn't understand why you'd do this for him.

Even after going on that angry tirade about you, even after he caught Terapagos with a master ball solely to "get even" with you....you chose to save his life when you could've just saved yourself, Carmine, and Briar.

How could you be so kind and selfless to someone like him? Who's done nothing but talk about how much he envied you?

And somehow you're still standing, convincing him to fight by your side so you could both quell the legendary's fury.

Seeing the light return to his eyes made you smile as your pokemons' combined strength defeated it, with Kieran deciding to let you properly catch it.

What nobody expected, though, was for you to pass out shortly after you picked up the pokeball you used..

Your 'raidon got everybody safely out of Area Zero, but you still haven't woken up and were rushed to the hospital.

The attack left you in a comatose-like state, according to doctors, and there's no telling when you'll awaken...if ever.

There was overwhelming tera energy coming from your body, which caused any Pokémon within the room to start terastalizing themselves. So you had to be isolated, having only human visitors.

Of course, Kieran was the most devastated.

Now he might never get the chance to apologize to you..and it's all because he got obsessed with defeating you and was willing to use a dangerous legendary to do just that.

This was all his fault.

If you were to die thinking he still hated you...he'd never forgive himself.

He definitely doesn't wanna think about you reincarnating into a Phantump and haunting him for the rest of his life.

He visits as often as he can, holding your hand while he talks to you.

While he's not sure if you could even hear what he was saying, but somehow he believes you're listening.

"I went too far, [y/n]..I only ever wanted to be like you. But instead I....I-I did this to you. I did this to someone who still believed in me. Someone who still saw me as....a-as a friend..." His voice breaks, never having felt such remorse in his entire life. "I'm so, so sorry...please wake up soon."

Although he had let go of his bitterness towards you entirely, his bad sleeping/eating habits are still there, and there's not much that anybody can do to help him cope.

With every visit, he grows more desperate for a positive update on your condition, chatting with you and always ending with a plea for you to wake up.

Hell, he's even willing to become friends with Drayton again if that's what it took to see your eyes open.

When you do finally awaken after the tera energy readings have dropped to practically zero, you see Kieran asleep in the chair beside you, his hair messy and reminiscent of what it looked like a year ago.

You muster up enough strength to lightly ruffle it, and that's what makes him jerk awake, shocked.

At first he thinks he's still dreaming when he sees you're now conscious...but when the doctors confirm you're gonna make a full recovery, he just collapses into your waiting arms and sobs into your shoulder, having held back all of his tears until now.

You simply comfort him, reassuring that you didn't blame him at all.

It was you who chose to sacrifice yourself.

And you'd do it all over again.

Carmine

Seeing you take that devastating hit for her brother shocked her to her very core...and even moreso when you were still standing despite the powerful blast.

But when you pass out shortly after capturing Terapagos, she's quick to snap Briar for pushing Kieran to terastalize it, blaming her for the reason this all happened.

She doesn't care if she gets in trouble for backtalking a teacher.

Her obsession with this "hidden treasure" ended up hurting a student, someone she was supposed to protect...and now you may never wake up.

At the hospital, Carmine sometimes visits you alongside her brother, and other times the two go in separately, leaving their pokemon outside.

When it's just her, she mostly talks about how Kieran has been doing, mentioning how you literally brought the light back into his eyes and how he wasn't some battle-crazed stranger anymore.

You saved him in more ways than one, and she cries a little just thinking about that, wishing you'd wake up and see that he was willing to let go of the past.

Whether it takes days or weeks, she never stops visiting you.

What you did for her brother was noble...and something she wishes she could've been brave enough to do.

The day you finally wake up and start to remember everything, Carmine quickly tries to cover up the fact she was crying.

But when you start talking, she's quick to breakdown as she (lightly) berated you for doing something so reckless, making you swear to NEVER do that again.

Soon Kieran rushes in the moment he hears you're awake..and he starts crying, too.

You just comfort the two siblings in your groggy half-asleep state, wondering how you'll tell them that this wasn't your first near-death experience...

Drayton

All he hears is that you were involved in an accident down in Area Zero...and it feels like a punch to the gut when he learns it put you into a coma.

Now he wishes he went with you. Maybe he could've kept an eye on Kieran just in case he did anything stupid for the sake of defeating you in-battle.

But he didn't, and that's exactly what ends up happening.

Despite not knowing all the details, he 100% believes Kieran is at fault for your condition.

Even though Drayton only knew you for a short time, he cared enough to frequently visit your room, trying to stay his chill and relaxed self while he talks to you about whatever came to mind (in case you were listening, he didn't want you to worry over him).

But it gets harder with every passing day and no clear confirmation on when (and if) you'll wake up.

Carmine was afraid he was going to strangle Kieran if he saw him...

Yet whenever they so-happen to visit you at the exact same time, words are seldom exchanged between the two.

Although Drayton will often glare at him, thinking to himself "only now he's sorry?"

Even so, he doesn't verbalize it.

There's no bitter reminders of what Kieran did. No petty insults to get the other ex-champion riled up.

They just sit in silence, although seeing the tears in the younger boy's eyes and the way he holds your hand made Drayton's gaze less icy the more he saw it.

Whenever you wake up, he's one of the first to know and brought you a Dragonite plushie as a gift, relieved to see you talking, his eyes slightly stinging and a huge smile on his face.

Once you recover more, he'll ask you what you remembered of Area Zero....and becomes shocked after you explained everything that happened down there.

All this time, he thought Kieran used Terapagos to attack you directly, but to learn it actually got out of control and turned its back on him??? And you chose to push him out of the way???

Drayton isn't sure if you're brave or dumb, but he's glad you're okay now.

When Kieran comes in, he leaves you both be to update the Elite Four, although he'll be back to help you on the long road to recovery.

[hischierswhore]

prologue (part 1) (c. pulisic)

TW: cursing // mentions of pregnancy

Word Count: 669

A/N: surprise shawty ! this is a brand new series i’m working on, and i’m really excited to write this one.

next chapter

The 3 years you spent loving Christian were the best years of your life. You still remember all the things he said to you, and it makes your heart ache when you hear his voice in your head now, replaying your final conversation in your head.

“Y/n, I don’t want this to be harder than it already is” He softly spoke as you both sat on your couch.

“Chris I’ll just go with you. This doesn’t have to be the end for us” Tears began to flow down your face.

“I can’t do that to you. I can’t just drag you with me and force you to give up your dreams for me” He looked into your eyes so intensely, his heart was breaking at the sight.

“Please don’t do this, Christian”

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but I think we should end this” He stood up and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek before leaving.

The moment he left, you grabbed onto the fabric of your couch as tears streamed down your cheeks, the sudden pain in your chest piercing through your body.

You laid there crying as memories of the good times rushed over you like a wave. Every part of you hurt when he walked away, and you felt empty without him. Your head started pounding with every beat of your heart. It seemed like it took hours to calm yourself down, all while sobbing quietly into the soft material of your cushion.

You’d lost the love of your life.

—

A few weeks later, you found yourself at the doctor’s office after constantly feeling nauseous. You were initially convinced that it was a stomach bug, but for these symptoms to continue even after 2 weeks, you decided it was time to go get checked.

Normally Christian would’ve been here with you, as he was always worried about you, even if you had a slight cold. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t here because he was too selfless and put your happiness before his own.

So here you are, sat in the exam room all alone, waiting for your doctor to come back with your results.

“Ms Y/n… I have your results back, and it turns out you are 12 weeks pregnant” You felt nauseous at her words. You were pregnant? Of course you were. The universe just had to find a way to keep you linked to your now ex-boyfriend, whom you still loved so deeply.

You thanked your doctor for her time and drove to Christian’s apartment to break the news to him.

Upon your arrival, you noticed his parking spot was empty, which meant he wasn’t home, so you drove to his parents house, as that was the only other place he would be at 3pm on a Monday.

You brought yourself to the front door and braced yourself before you would have to see the man who broke your heart.

The door opened and revealed his mother.

“Y/n! What are you doing here?” She moved to the side to let you into her home, one you were all too familiar with.

“I uhm- I came to talk to Christian. He wasn’t at his apartment and I figured he would be here…” You couldn’t look her in the eye, afraid she would be able to detect that something was wrong.

“Oh honey, you didn’t know? Christian moved to Europe for football. He left last week. Your heart dropped at her words. There was no way.

“Oh… I wasn’t aware, but uhm- thank you for telling me” You said your goodbyes and left. On your way back to your apartment, you decided to call him, as you never deleted his number from your phone.

The line rang a few times before he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Christian?”

“Uhm no. This is Max”

[naesakilovely-fanpage]

˚ʚ Traitor AU Naesaki ! ɞ˚

He/Him for Chihiro

Mod's note: So sorry for not posting I ran out of ideas ;A;

♡ Mastermind! Makoto ♡

He always liked Chihiro, but Junko didn't let him keep Chihiro out of this so he planned a way to get rid of her and keep Chihiro alive until he could remove Chihiro from the game.

He would constantly be around Chihiro in a non-stalking way, talk to him a lot and sometimes flirt with Chihiro in a subtle way, he would try to be in a relationship with him or at least be his friend.

When Junko guard is down, he would then kill her by using a taser multiple times on her at high voltage. Then he went to Chihiro's room while he was sleeping, and when Chihiro wakes up he tells him the whole truth (except the whole world is destroyed thing).

Then, he would make Chihiro choose between saving himself or being stuck there but the rest get free. Chihiro chooses the last and Makoto smiles at him, telling him "that selfless nature was the one that made me fall in love with you" and he knew what he was going to ask him, he just wanted to see his reaction. He would then explain the state the world is in and then tell him that he would stop the killing game immediately, just for him.

"If I fix this whole thing, would you forgive me? Would you give me one more chance?" Makoto asked Chihiro after a moment of silence. When Chihiro asked to what he was referring to, he answered that if he fixed the world and made things go back to normal, would Chihiro forgive him for helping with the killing game and give him a chance to continuing being his friend/boyfriend.

♡ Mastermind! Chihiro ♡

The reason he is helping Junko is that Junko manipulated him, lying to him that the whole class killed his parents. When he fell in love with Makoto he had mixed feelings of him and was complicated, until he realized that Makoto couldn't killed his parents, then he confronted Junko about that and she then attack him with a knife. Makoto followed Chihiro because he sensed something was strange and when he notice Junko attacking Chihiro, he defended Chihiro and tries to save him, when Junko was about to stab Makoto, Chihiro hit her with a blunt object, killing her by a concussion.

Makoto ask to Chihiro what just happened, why was Junko alive (not anymore tho) and what did he meant by she lied to him, then Chihiro starts sobbings and explains what just happened: That Junko lied to him about his parents being murdered by the class and since he wanted revenge he helped with the killing game, but after knowing Makoto he realized that Junko was just manipulating him so he confronted her about it and that's what Makoto saw.

"I'm so sorry Makoto! I was just blinded with anger and I j-just wanted to- *sniff sniff* get revenge and! a-and!" then Makoto would just hug him and tell him everything is okay, that he was deceived and didn't blame him, and that he forgives him. Chihiro would hug Makoto back and while crying softly on his shoulder, then Chihiro says "Your caring nature made me realized the truth, it was all thanks to you Makoto. No wonder I fell in love with you..." Then he promised to Makoto to help him restore the world, kissing him on the cheek as a thanks for forgiving him. He would stop the killing game and let the others free, making sure they end in a safe place.

[stay-forever-sunday]

Of threats and bonds

Summary: It was only a dream, but it had felt so real. So she threatens him with a fork.

Rating: G, I think?

Word Count: 1.172

AO3

Feysand Week 2023 Day Six: ✨Mates ✨

@officialfeysandweek2023

Inspired by @the-lonelybarricade's The Chains That Bind Us

As always, this was not beta read, any and all mistakes are my own.

....

The bond between Rhysand and his mate pulsed with annoyance as soon as he opened his eyes that morning. 

He had never taken it for granted, that magnetic pull between the two of them. In his five-hundred-odd years on this earth, he had never once felt entitled to a mate. Mates were very rare and, when the match was a good fit, it was something to be cherished for the entirety of their long lifespan. It was a gift. Meant to be given and never, ever taken.

Feyre had been a balm for his sore, sour soul the minute he finally met her, that fateful night at Calanmai. Just because he never felt entitled to a mate didn't mean that he hadn't spent years hoping and searching –until he found her. All bright eyes, stubborn personality, endless courage, and selfless love.

There was never a day where he didn't feel thankful and grateful for their existence as one, even when her annoyance bled through. 

The still-warm sheets beside him revealed just about enough. Her vivid dreams had a way of ripping her from sleep and messing with her mood, especially as of late. 

The poor pancake on her plate was being stabbed repeatedly by her angry fork, and his chuckle was enough to make Feyre’s attention leave her food and settle its talons on him. The fork that was suddenly aimed at him looked a lot less menacing with a piece of fluffy breakfast food speared through.

“You!” She spat angrily, lifting herself from the chair, the prongs pointed directly to his chest. 

His violet eyes narrowed slightly, brimming with love for the unbearable creature before him. Her blues locked with his and she whimpered, lifting a hand to cover her mouth before a strangled sob made its way up her throat. Silverware clattered on the floor.  The silent pull of annoyance through their bond shifted darkly, and all he could feel was cold, barren bereavement. 

With legs that could barely hold her weight anymore, she sought him. Rhys held her close to his chest, one hand curling into the gold and brown locks of her hair, keeping her nose close to his neck as he soothed her. 

“What happened this time, darling?” The wail was strangled out of her throat and muffled by the sweater on his shoulder. Feyre pressed her face to him and held him close, molding her body to his and willing them to share the same physical space. 

She grumbled into the soft fabric, the concerned words didn’t reach his ears before becoming a tangled mess of whines. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.” Rhys apologetically tried to peel her off of him, wishing some lip reading would aid him in understanding his wife, but Feyre was having none of it and clung to him like a kitten. Pressing her cheek to the cream fluff of his sweater, she took a shaky breath before trying again. 

“I had a dream where we were married, but we weren’t mates,” She tried but failed in fighting a sob from reaching the surface. Her nails dug into his skin, an anchor, as she fought to ground herself. “We’d been married for centuries before the bond snapped into place. But it wasn’t me. It was someone else.” Her sobs robbed her of all the air in her lungs and his heart broke at seeing a dream causing her so much distress. His warm hand wormed its way under her shirt, to rub soothing circles on her bare back. Feyre shivered at the contact and forced air back into her lungs. “You were a gentleman about it, but I knew all you thought about, all you wanted and all your instincts wanted of you was for you to lay claim on her. And it hurt. It hurt more than I ever imagined it could. And that was just a dream.” 

Feyre detangled herself from him just enough to stare into his violet eyes. “It would kill me if it were to happen.” He held her eyes with understanding. Cauldron knows how he would react if she had a mate who wasn’t him, he would probably end up killing the poor bastard. 

With a hand still tangled in her hair, he brought her head close enough so he could place a kiss on her forehead; he sighed and leaned his chin on top of her head. “I understand that it feels devastating,” his whisper wrapped her in warmth – he could chase away her nightmares by simply existing, she realized. “But it was a dream.” He kissed each of her brows and then went back to kiss each of her closed eyelids. “Your imagination is running wild while you sleep.” The pads of his thumbs chased away traces of tears. 

She felt broken. “It was so real.” 

Rhysand nodded, bringing her impossibly close. Feyre was strong, so much stronger than she imagined she would ever be, and seeing her so small was like having an iron fist squeezing his heart. The lengths he would go to make her feel better… He walked her backward into the living room where he sat down in his favorite armchair, pulling her comfortably into his lap.

“Is there any way I can help you?” He caressed her through their mating bond just as he did with his hands everywhere he could reach. With a softness that Feyre knew was reserved for her only. 

“Make me tired enough that I can go back to sleep and wake up all over again?” She whined into his chest, her hands possessively on the back of his neck. She felt his breathy laugh against her ear. “Tell me you’re mine.” 

When Rhysand looked down at his mate, her pupils had dilated. The sorrow in her gave space to the hunger he now saw displayed before him, peppered with the slightest bit of challenge.

“I have waited over five centuries for you. I am never letting go.” Feyre nodded at his words, her brow touching his, her fingers curling around his biceps with all the strength she could muster. The sigh tumbled from her lips, the reassurance in his words ringing true to her ears.

“You know I will kill you if you ever get another mate, right?” The fingers on his arm dug impossibly tighter into his skin, the chuckle left Rhysand’s lips just after the stars in his eyes began to burn with mirth. 

“And you know that’s not possible, right?” With his head cocked to the side, his eyes twinkling with firelight, that smirk needed to be wiped right off his face. He ran his nose through the length of her neck, leaving an innocent kiss just below her ear, his arms wrapping around her and bringing her impossibly close to his chest.

“The possibility of it is irrelevant to this conversation.” His entire body shook with laughter; Feyre gave him the stink eye and flicked his nose. He deserved it, for all she cared. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”